22 April 2009

THE FIRST COPYRIGHT STATEMENT


(found by my father on the Internet, author unknown)

They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the actual “first page” of the Bible. When deciphered, it read:

“Copyright (c) 300 B.C. God. All Rights Reserved First scrawling First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone- Is-Shadowed, 300 B.C.

All beings, places and events depicted in this work are fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.

WARNING: Some of the actions performed in this work are dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals familiar with the action in question.

NOTE: Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark are called ‘stars’. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In no way should this be construed as a sign that there is, beneath such an explosion, any form of saviour. Should such a misconstrual happen, the author will not be held responsible for the avalanche of arrogance, zeal, bigotry, humanocentricity and other vile acts which will surely follow the residents of the planet into time eternal until someone sees fit to erase the denizens of the world and let the author start over.

DSBN 0-000000-0000-1
Suggested retail: 1 sheep.”



2 comments:

Joe said...

Judith, I strenuously object. There is no way the author could have known the date was 300 years BC, since how would the person have known that Jesus was going to be born about 300 years after the work was completed? Simply based on this, I don't think the copyright mark is correct... :-)

Joe

Ms. OPL said...

Very astute comment, but if the statement was written by God, who we presume is omniscient (all knowing), then he would know about the birth of Jesus. He would have included BC to make it clearer for us in the present day :)